Dating relationships and the demand withdraw pattern of communication
This is the brainwashing; this is what happened that caused me to try harder with her and to try so hard to ‘understand her.’ I tried to reassure her, to soothe her and to be the daughter she always wanted.And when I started to look at the way SHE treated me in this profoundly dysfunctional mother daughter relationship we had, I became aware that now I was saying some of the same critical type things about her too.It happens when one partner pressures the other with requests, criticism or complaints and is met with avoidance or silence."It's the most common pattern of conflict in marriage or any committed, established romantic relationship," says one author.D., professor and graduate director of communication studies at Texas Christian University."And it does tremendous damage." Schrodt led a meta-analysis of 74 studies, including more than 14,000 participants, "A Meta-Analytical Review of the Demand/Withdraw Pattern of Interaction and its Associations with Individual, Relational, and Communicative Outcomes," published in (March, 2014).
"It's the most common pattern of conflict in marriage or any committed, established romantic relationship," says Paul Schrodt, Ph.EDI and the demand/withdraw communication pattern have been topics of valuable research in predicting relationship satisfaction, but to our knowledge these topics have not been concurrently investigated.The current study investigated the differences in couple level demand/withdraw in romantic relationships where there is no reported EDI, where there is known EDI, and where there is unknown EDI in a community sample of married and dating couples.Over time, this type of abuse eats away at your self-confidence and sense of self-worth, undermining any good feelings you have about yourself and about your accomplishments.” The Emotionally Abusive Relationship by Beverly Engle Although this quote is aimed at the victim for the purpose of exposing how the self-esteem gets torn down, the first time I read this quote I thought of my mother and how much she said that I hurt her; she always said that I was the problem and that I did this to her ~ that I tore HER down; And overtime I believed that my words, actions and behavior (although I could not figure out what I was doing that was so offending) had eaten away at her self-confidence and harmed her sense of self-worth and undermined any good feelings that she ever had about herself and her accomplishments. I believed that I was the critical one and that I was the one doing all the damage.“Darlene I have always been afraid that you would take your kids away from me and use them as a weapon against me”.